Eye Opening 24 hours!

In the past 12 hours and in 12 hours, I will have helped make 25 families a lot better and sit down to take the biggest test I have ever taken, the LSAT.

In my job, i complain about a lot of things. I feel sometimes that all I do is sit at a desk and do random boring jobs. I make phone calls and talk to community partners, I send e-mails to professors to see about "Service-Learning" projects. I do this all and have no clue sometimes how exactly I am impacting the world around me. I took my job in hopes of doing this. For a bit, I wrestled with this demon...I was put here to do good, yet I feel like I just sit at a desk. I started to turn the corner recently and see that I am doing is working towards a greater good. Then today happened...

...IT WAS BREATH TAKING!

We (as a community service office) delivered "Holiday" (I'm not allowed to say Christmas) gifts to 25 families who needed the help. I got to go out on 6 deliveries and never seen someone so happy to see me. These families were touched, they were moved and they were happy. I was proud. For the first time since taking my new position, I was PROUD. I drove all over this county and it was totally worth it (NOW IF GAS PRICES WERE STILL $4/GALLON...). The smiles on the faces of these parents made every little boring mundane activity I have done in the past four months worth it.

It was also amazing because it took my mind off of the LSAT. I am prepared. I spent hours looking over stupid prep manuals, took COUNTLESS tests and analyzed every answer. AND THAT SCARES ME. I AM TERRIFIED. I have never been more prepared for anything in my life. This is the pinnacle of all this work! What if I bomb it? What if all my work went towards nothing? I am not even worried about getting into law school yet, this test has me terrified. And has corny has it sounds I just have to put faith that things will work out to where I need to be.

And because this is my blog, I can be whoever I want...I feel like Antonio Banderas in the final scene of the 13th Warrior. If you haven't seen it, watch it. Long story short, the final battle insurmountable odds and right has hell is about to break through the gates, AB starts to pray...he says a little prayer along the lines of...

...I have squandered my days with plans of many things, this was not among them. But at this moment, I want only to live the next few moments well. For all we ought to have thought, and have not thought; all we ought to have said, and have not said; all we ought to have done, and have not done.

And this is all that I ask from any higher power listening is to ALLOW ME TO LIVE THESE MOMENTS WELL! And enjoy them for everything they are worth.